Quotes and anectdotes from the wise to the foolish, and the courageous to the drunk

marriage

A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

I prepare myself for rehearsals like I would for marriage.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

It takes patience to appreciate domestic bliss volatile spirits prefer unhappiness.

Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven. Is this because it is thought likely to mar the general felicity?

More belongs to marriage than four legs in a bed.

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

Books and marriage go ill together.

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.

Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage.

God invented concubinage, satan marriage.

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.

I've had two terrific relationships, but both ended in marriage.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying it's separating himself from all the others.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Love is often the fruit of marriage.

Love, the quest marriage, the conquest divorce, the inquest.

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

Marriage is a very good thing, but I think it's a mistake to make a habit out of it.

Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn't even have when you were on your own.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Marriage is like wine. It is not be properly judged until the second glass.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Marriage is the most natural state of man, and... the state in which you will find solid happiness.

When I get married, it'll be no secret.

Where there's marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.

Accident counts for as much in companionship as in marriage.

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.

It had not occurred to me that marriage requires the same effort as a career. And unlike a career, marriage requires a joint effort.

Love is not weakness. It is strong. Only the sacrament of marriage can contain it.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

Marriage is like a cage one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once.

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

One was never married, and that's his hell another is, and that's his plague.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

The secret of a good marriage is forgiving your partner for marrying you in the first place.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

When undertaking marriage, everyone must be the judge of his own thoughts, and take counsel from himself.

Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful.

Marriage! Nothing else demands so much of a man.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.

An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring... I ought to know.

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.

In a happy marriage it is the wife who provides the climate, the husband the landscape.

Love is more pleasant than marriage for the same reason that novels are more amusing than history.

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

Marriage is miserable unless you find the right person that is your soulmate and that takes a lot of looking.

Marriage is the tomb of love.

Marriage is the torment of one, the felicity of two, the strife and enmity of three.

Marriage, laws, the police, armies and navies are the mark of human incompetence.

Marriage: a ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced 'mirage'.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Mama and Daddy King represent the best in manhood and womanhood, the best in a marriage, the kind of people we are trying to become.

A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning.

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

I married beneath me, all women do.

If I get married, I want to be very married.

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity.

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom wait until they have been married longer.

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

This marriage is no one's business but our own.

To me, marriage is partly a religious thing and I'm not religious.

What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many?

Either marriage is a destiny, I believe, or there is no sense in it at all, it's a piece of humbug.

Marriage, like death, is a debt we owe to nature.

A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

Marriage destroyed my relationship with two wonderful men.

Most of these alternative arrangements, so-called, arise out of the ruins of marriages, not as an improvement of old fashioned marriage.

Never get married in college it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

Nothing in life is as good as the marriage of true minds between man and woman. As good? It is life itself.

The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife's spirits.

Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles.

For after my marriage I had made various attempts to write fiction. They were clearly failures.

It became plain very soon after our marriage that ours was to be a literary partnership.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Art is a marriage of the conscious and the unconscious.

I adore the theater and I am a painter. I think the two are made for a marriage of love. I will give all my soul to prove this once more.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

Marriage is good enough for the lower classes: they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

Marriage, like money, is still with us and, like money, progressively devalued.

One doesn't have to get anywhere in a marriage. It's not a public conveyance.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked and thought than marriage.

Woman, or more precisely put, perhaps, marriage, is the representative of life with which you are meant to come to terms.

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.

He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home, and broods a nest of sorrows.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

It is better to be unhappy in love than unhappy in marriage, but some people manage to be both.

Let a man do what he will by a single woman, the world is encouragingly apt to think Marriage a sufficient amends.

Love before marriage is absolutely necessary.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Marriage is the mother of the world. It preserves kingdoms, and fills cities and churches, and heaven itself.

Marriage, it seems, confines every man to his proper rank.

Never again! I can see no reason for marriage - ever at all. I've had it. Three times is enough.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes.

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later for another thing, they die earlier.

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.

The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

But I wanted marriage for myself. I was not calculating about it. I wish I was more calculating.

Faithful women are all alike, they think only of their fidelity, never of their husbands.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Marriage is a coming together for better or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the degree of being sacred.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife she has thought much worse things about you.

No person connected with me by blood or marriage will be appointed to office.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.

I had only two offers of marriage in my life, and I refused both.

But, alas! what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have a higher Design than to get her a Husband?

Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.

Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.

Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.

In marriage, a man becomes slack and selfish, and undergoes a fatty degeneration of his moral being.

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

Little children are still the symbol of the eternal marriage between love and duty.

Marriage is like life - it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses.

Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or of conquest.

Marriage: A friendship recognized by the police.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

The ceremony took six minutes. The marriage lasted about the same amount of time though we didn't get a divorce for almost a year.

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.