Quotes & anectdotes from
the wise,
the foolish,
the courageous &
the drunk

sports

Adversity causes some men to break others to break records.

All sports for all people.

All sports must be treated on the basis of equality.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second.

I'm a Hollywood writer, so I put on my sports jacket and take off my brain.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

For truly it is to be noted, that children's plays are not sports, and should be deemed as their most serious actions.

Sports is the toy department of human life.

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.

I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down.

One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.

Sports is human life in microcosm.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

Major sports are major parts of society. It's not anomalous to have people who love sports come from other parts of that society.

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.

A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

We should confine booing in sports arenas to sport. I love a good boo as much as the next football fan.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game.

Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.

Most ball games are lost, not won.

There is a syndrome in sports called 'paralysis by analysis.'

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.

Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

The plays and sports of children are as salutary to them as labor and work are to grown persons.

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.

A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.

When Michael Jordan quit, I suddenly found myself without a sports hero.

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

I have never seen a wrestling match or a prize fight, and I don't want to. When I find out a man is interested in these sports, I drop him.

Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher.

Ethnic prejudice has no place in sports, and baseball must recognize that truth if it is to maintain stature as a national game.

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.