Quotes & anectdotes from
the wise,
the foolish,
the courageous &
the drunk

H. L. Mencken Writer

  • Gender: Male
  • Citizenship: United States
  • Born: Sep 12, 1880
  • Died: Jan 29, 1956

Henry Louis "H. L." Mencken was an American journalist, essayist, magazine editor, satirist, critic of American life and culture, and scholar of American English. Known as the "Sage of Baltimore", he is regarded as one of the most influential American writers and prose stylists of the first half of the twentieth century. Many of his books remain in print.

Mencken is known for writing The American Language, a multi-volume study of how the English language is spoken in the United States, and for his satirical reporting on the Scopes trial, which he dubbed the "Monkey Trial". He commented widely on the social scene, literature, music, prominent politicians and contemporary movements.

As a frank admirer of German philosopher Nietzsche, he was a detractor of religion in general, populism and representative democracy, which he believed was a system in which inferior men dominated their superiors. Mencken was a keen cheerleader of scientific progress, very skeptical of economic theories and critical of osteopathic/chiropractic medicine.

During and after World War I, he was sympathetic to the Germans, and was very distrustful of British propaganda.

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too.

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

Time stays, we go.

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

To die for an idea it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later for another thing, they die earlier.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

All government, of course, is against liberty.

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.

Husbands never become good they merely become proficient.

Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered there is only error to be exposed.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.