Quotes and anectdotes from the wise to the foolish, and the courageous to the drunk

sports

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.

Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher.

Ethnic prejudice has no place in sports, and baseball must recognize that truth if it is to maintain stature as a national game.

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second.

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

All sports must be treated on the basis of equality.

All sports for all people.

Adversity causes some men to break others to break records.

For truly it is to be noted, that children's plays are not sports, and should be deemed as their most serious actions.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

I'm a Hollywood writer, so I put on my sports jacket and take off my brain.

Sports is human life in microcosm.

One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.

I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.

I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down.

Sports is the toy department of human life.

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.

A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set.

Major sports are major parts of society. It's not anomalous to have people who love sports come from other parts of that society.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

I see great things in baseball. It's our game - the American game.

We should confine booing in sports arenas to sport. I love a good boo as much as the next football fan.

Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

There is a syndrome in sports called 'paralysis by analysis.'

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Most ball games are lost, not won.

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.

Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

The plays and sports of children are as salutary to them as labor and work are to grown persons.

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.

A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.

When Michael Jordan quit, I suddenly found myself without a sports hero.

I have never seen a wrestling match or a prize fight, and I don't want to. When I find out a man is interested in these sports, I drop him.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.