It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.