The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.