You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. friendship
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure. failure
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other. teen
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence. women
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. work
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know. funny
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. funny
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. nature
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. car
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. patience
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. beauty & truth
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. art & funny
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week. Valentine's Day
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure. best & intelligence
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise. work
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. business
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone. alone
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. intelligence
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. funny
Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. anger & best
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. education