A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.
Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.
When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money.
Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
Don't knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
best, being good & home
It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.