A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.
Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money.
It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.
Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
best, being good & home